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Relationship Building: Be Kinder than Necessary

glenlucchesi Blog, Our Culture

“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle”

John Watson

Kindness is oftentimes one of the most overlooked tools in building relationships. Over the years, I have experienced countless examples of the importance of being kinder than necessary. There have been many times when I have found myself getting angry with unexplained absences or lack of time for meetings, only to find out that the person was dealing with difficult matters that I had no idea about. I wish I would have been kinder. This one is so important to me it is my email tag line.  Be kinder than necessary, because everyone is fighting a battle. Some important lessons to keep with you when striving to bring more kindness into your relationship building are:

  • Seek first to understand, then to be understood.  (Remember there may be a very good reason something is being done a certain way).
  • Develop trust and transparency.
  • Be genuine.
  • Leave your ego at the door.
  • Readily apologize.
  • Smile often.
  • Take the blame, give the credit.
  • Know when to soften.
  • Think of others.
  • Give frequently, receive rarely.
  • Value people.
  • Give thanks and appreciation — they are free!

Relationships do not stop at the end of the work day or assignment.  I have been to funerals, weddings, births, have held peoples babies, celebrated successes and have been there to share in losses, worries, and changes.  Relationships that I forged over 30 years ago have helped me to get new assignments and business decades later.  But please don’t fall into the trap that this is done for gain.  Machiavellian manipulation is one of the lowest forms of human behavior.  Be genuine, be human, be a real friend.

About Glen Lucchesi

Over a span of 7 years I have worked as a Project Manager to help with mergers and acquisitions converting over 38,000 employees, 15 market based organizations, 100’s of hospitals, and 100’s of clinics from disparate time entry methods to a standardized automated time and attendance system using clocks, phones and the web.  I also coordinated with ERP systems and payroll systems to insure payroll was not disrupted.  I coordinated implementation, testing, reconciliation, and support between internal IT staff, business users, and multiple 3rd party vendors and helped in support and training at multiple client sites across the United States.  I created and managed issue tracking and resolution, risk management and mitigation, and testing/reconciliation plans and acted as a cheerleader/customer service representative to represent the client and 3rd party vendors in a positive light.